Meet the Stars!

You Sir! You Ma’am! Feast your eyes on the spectacular, the stupendous and the curious! It’s not the main show, it’s the Sideshow!

Scouring the farthest reaches of the globe, Reginald spared every expense assembling this cast of characters. They may not be the best at what they do, but these larger than life performers will win your heart, and maybe even the game, check them out below!

Sideshow Swap! Performer - Poopsmith
Sideshow Swap! Performer

Once a member of high society, Peter Barrister spent his time in the court of King Edward as a highly regarded glass smith. Full of ambition, Pete sought to make his own fortune by building a statue factory in America. It failed. Spectacularly. He now lives at rock bottom, sweeping elephant poop every day, passing time by crafting it into intricate figurines and selling them in our gift shop. Mention us for a 15% discount.

Sideshow Swap! Performer - Knife Juggler
Sideshow Swap! Performer

Ivan was juggling before it was cool, but never tried anything sharper than a banana. While his family back in Russia didn’t think he could make a career juggling, he cautiously explores the bleeding edges of the sport, almost as if he has a death wish. Despite impaling himself daily, this distressed man is fairly certain he’ll get this juggling knives thing down sooner or later.

Sideshow Swap! Performer - Tightrope Walker
Sideshow Swap! Performer

A sixth-generation performer from Vienna, Malory was classically trained in the finest ballet school in all of Paris (not THE Paris), and as such, this snooty girl demanded to have a spot in the ‘Show. Much to her chagrin, the only job left was high above on the tightrope, where she now teeters with disaster night after night.

Sideshow Swap! Performer - Strongman
Sideshow Swap! Performer

The strongest lad this side of Glasgow, Brodie shattered records caber tossing when he was just five. His seven skinny siblings complained he ate all the food, but they can relax now that he is seeking a bigger stage with the ‘Show. The other performers claim he is a lamb, but we warn you not to touch his haggis.

Sideshow Swap! Performer - Bearded Lady
Sideshow Swap! Performer

This daughter of the South is the epitome of etiquette. She grew up in Raleigh, North Carolina on a tobacco plantation and whips up the best sweet potato pie this side of Macon. She loves the softer things in life, such as raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. She is currently pursuing an endorsement deal with a subscription-based razor blade company.

Sideshow Swap! Performer - Human Pretzel
Sideshow Swap! Performer

Jabu is more than he seems. Known as the Guru of the Midwest, he was once the top furniture salesman in Cleveland, but abandoned all worldly goods – except his waffle iron – in an effort to promote mind over body. Be wise and let his reality shape your perception.

Sideshow Swap! Performer - Sword Swallower
Sideshow Swap! Performer

Born with a rare epiglottal condition, Evelyn began the precarious practice of sword swallowing to cure her chronic hiccups. Doctors aren’t sure why she did this, as they insisted a glass of water would do just fine. To her surprise, she has only worked the Sideshow for a few months and has already earned enough from tips to pay her way through law school.

Sideshow Swap! Performer - Fortune Teller
Sideshow Swap! Performer

Man or machine, no one really knows. Zebulon showed up one night in a strange shipping crate from Sri Lanka. To this day, no one knows who hired/ordered him. A curious number of his sensational predictions feature familiar 80’s movie themes.

Sideshow Swap! Performer - Sharpshooter
Sideshow Swap! Performer

Tobias Norbert, a.k.a “Sterling” is a crack shot that ain’t takin’ no guff from nobody. Full of grit, he’s a real straight shooter who tells it like it is. The Sideshow had better watch out for this cowboy, ’cause he threatens to take what’s rightfully his from the company coffers if he doesn’t get his cut. You didn’t hear it from me, but he has a delightful Pomeranian named Gumdrop.

Sideshow Swap! Performer - Conjoined Twins
Sideshow Swap! Performer

Defying the laws of nature, Roy is rumored to be the father of his own conjoined twin. These happy-go-lucky buffoons were discovered performing on a bridge in the middle of Missouri. Their one, er two, man show not-so-surprisingly involved ham hocks, gunpowder and moonshine. The Ozark Tribune gave them three thumbs up, calling it a “Bumfuzzling performance.” Come by and check out the scuttlebutt for yourself.

Sideshow Swap! Performer - Acrobat
Sideshow Swap! Performer

Rose transferred in to the Sideshow after claiming to seek a greater audience to display her grace and beauty. We didn’t question it at the time, but after dozens of inquiries from the authorities, we’re starting to suspect that she’s secretly a black-market antiquities dealer. The fact that her rather large private art collection keeps growing despite her virtually non-existent salary is not helping her case.

Sideshow Swap! Performer - Fire Breather
Sideshow Swap! Performer

A black-listed street performer from Carnival in Rio, Isabel is an unassuming librarian by day, and a fiery soul by night. It’s only when she performs that she can let her inner demons come out and play. With catastrophe constantly looming, this hypnotic performance has been known to singe a few hairs here and there.

Sideshow Swap! Performer - Lion Tamer
Sideshow Swap! Performer

Nigel’s cool and calm demeanor suggests he has everything under control, blissfully unaware that the hungry lion is quietly contemplating a gruesome revenge. He joined the ‘Show after falsely claiming to have lead dozens of safaris in Africa, when in reality he was a bellhop at a swanky hotel in Johannesburg. He owns a copy of the Jungle Book, but still hasn’t read it.

Sideshow Swap! Performer - High Diver
Sideshow Swap! Performer

Fearless every time she climbs the ladder, it’s not until she looks down that her vertigo kicks in. Between that, and the fact that she can’t swim, we’re left wondering why she was hired in the first place. Hold your breath and enjoy the jaw-dropping plunge as she drenches you with her charm.

Sideshow Swap! Performer - Human Cannonball
Sideshow Swap! Performer

Cecil is the happiest guy in the ‘Show after quitting his day job as a patent clerk to pursue his thrill-seeking passion. Even though it takes nine pounds of butter to grease him up enough to squeeze him down the tube, it’s worth every penny watching him defy gravity as he skyrockets through the air. We don’t know what he likes more, hearing the crowd chant his name, or hearing the blast of the cannon. Frankly, we’re surprised he can hear anything at all.

Sideshow Swap! Performer - Ringmaster
Sideshow Swap! Performer

Island living off the coast of Brooklyn gave Reginald a flair for the dramatic. After contemplating greatness for years, he started his first show with 15 of his favorite imaginary friends – at the age of 27. With extreme hubris, he shamelessly leads this rag-tag group of performers on his grand tour. He is eager to wake up every day just to put on the felt hat and button chains. He cordially invites you to the 43rd Best Sideshow on Earth …good luck!